Finding Rabbi Right
Want to get a first-hand look at the Shidduch-dating process? Rebbetzin Chanshy Majesky met her husband, Rabbi Yanky Majesky, through a matchmaker. Here, we get to listen in on an exclusive interview to get the full scoop.
By Naomi Stricker // CTeen North Orlando
Q: How old were you when you started dating?
A: I started dating for marriage at 18 and I got married at 20. Before meeting my husband I dated two other men. That can give you an idea of how intense the research process is. My parents went through dozens of suggestions to make sure they chose the right one. And of course, even if someone looks perfect on paper, you don’t ever know until you go on a date.
Q: How did you feel before your first date with your husband?
A: I’d say a mix between extreme excitement and a little bit of anxiety. I felt nervous about portraying my true self while still staying relaxed. Growing up I’d only ever interacted with the opposite gender through brothers and cousins. It’s almost unnatural to know what to say and how to act. And of course, meeting anyone for the first time in a new environment can cause natural nervousness. I think the added element of excitement comes from the idea that I may be reuniting with the second half of my soul.
Q: Did meeting Rabbi Majesky feel different from the other guys you dated?
A: When he first picked me up, he right away made the conversation so comfortable. I felt the anxiety melt away. He was easy to talk to and it all felt very natural. The real feeling of connection, soul-deep, was defintely there.
Q: How did you know it was Meant2Be?
A: I felt so comfortable being myself. While I was dating, even my father commented on how my true self was shining through. When you meet the right person, it brings out the best in you and the core of who you are.
Q: How long did you date before marriage?
A: Around two months. He was living in New York and I was in Orlando, so some of that time was spent traveling. We both felt confident in the research done beforehand, so those weeks were mainly to feel that connection and know if it was right. We had gone to the Ohel to request a blessing for that moment before announcing our engagement.
Q: How long have you been married?
A: As of Tevet (December/January), it’s been 15 years, thank G-d.
Q: What advice do you have for teens looking to date?
A: Definitely make sure that the person you date is Jewish. I would suggest, even if you are not dating seriously or not dating for marriage, still date Jewish. If you are not using the Shidduch system, you could end up falling in love with someone you are just “talking to.” Only dating someone who could potentially be your actual soulmate is a real win—because then you know for sure that you will marry Jewish. That really ties in with sharing a lifetime goal and a core of Jewish values. You can share those values for the rest of your lives and raise your children Jewish too.
Q: Any last words for us teens?
A: My advice would be to borrow from the Shidduch system as much as possible. For one, be sure to date for your life goals and priorities versus only physical attraction. When you put your life goals first, you can have an everlasting and beautiful marriage because you share something so deep and meaningful. You can go through life completing those goals and missions together. You might not find the perfect person, but you’ll find the person who’s perfect for you.